"I'm -" He's not okay. He's not okay and he knows his boyfriend knows it. He doesn't like his father but he also doesn't like seeing him hurt, and - and also there's still a gun in the hallway maybe? Maybe his father picked it up.

But he shakes a little bit, hugging Shang Beida and burying his face into his robe. He's not crying, he feels too empty for that. He forgot how hollow being around his father makes him feel. Honestly he's not sure if it'd be worse if Caspian showed up or his father. His mother showing up is unthinkable. He glances to the side and -

... Oh. He stares into the mirror for a long moment. It's him - older, wearing a suit. Mimicking his position but... he lets go and just sits in front of the mirror, staring. ... That's what he wanted, right? What he wanted to be? What he could have been.

What he should have been. If he'd had a different family... if he never awoke to his powers as a Scion. The him that could have lived a quiet life - maybe not a happy one, but a quiet one helping others. He reaches out to touch the mirror, pressing his forehead against it. "... I'm sorry." His voice is tight and raspy. He's not sure who he's apologizing to.