SO BELOW - EVENT LOG

[pluviosamods]

SO BELOW

With a slightly bump that can be felt throughout the ship, progress levels out. The skies above are threatening rain, but there aren't any drops falling from the sky... Yet.

Not that you'd know it, looking out the windows. A foreign ocean stands outside, on the other side of the glass - the ghost of an ocean, long gone from the truth of this world.

Just like so many other things, which have become visible to those who are willing to pay attention.

This is the event log for SO BELOW. Information for the first part of the Event (days 15 and 16) can be found here, along with sign-up options for the second part of the event.

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[airplaneskyward]

“…Bleeding?” He looks down at the blood on Casper’s shirt and brings a shaking hand up to his face to wipe at his wet cheeks. It comes away red. “…Oh. I… might be… having a qi deviation.” He sways a little, unsteady now that only one hand is grounding him on Casper.

[helborn]

"... I have no idea what that means, schatzi." He holds his boyfriend's hand, squeezing gently. "Nor do I know how to fix it. ... Can you give me a little more information?"

[airplaneskyward]

“I… my emotions must have… unbalanced my core. My spiritual energy is… unstable. My cultivation is attacking itself.” His voice is vague and disconnected, and he’s still staring dreamily at the blood on his hand. There’s a vague niggling sense that he should do something, but his head is too hazy for it to break through.

[helborn]

"Like an allergic reaction? You don't have like... the magic equivalent of one of those pen things you can jab yourself with to stop an attack, do you?" He's got many things in his sleeves, so he has no idea. "How do I help you?"

[airplaneskyward]

“Jab? Allergic? I… oh. My… bullshit xianxia medicines, yeah…” He fumbles vaguely and clumsily in his sleeves until a qiankun pouch falls out, which he stares at in dazed confusion.

[helborn]

He picks up the pouch and puts it into his boyfriend's hand. "Please? Please take something, I don't want you to be hurt... or if there's something I can do to help you, please let me know..."

[airplaneskyward]

“Qi deviation, I need, I need… for guilt and grief and fear it’s… Hundred Year Winter Snow Lotus, Ashforged Salamander Tail… Dawnsung Peach Nectar…” He rifles through the pouch, mumbling to himself, until he turns up a handful of packets and pulls a small round pill out of each. “I might… faint. Don’t… don’t worry.” He shoves all three pills in his mouth and swallows.

As warned, his eyes roll back in his head and he collapses, steaming faintly.

[helborn]

"What do you mean don't worry -" He catches the other before he can hit the ground, holding him to his chest and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

All he can do is hold on to the people he cares about and hope they don't slip away from him...

[airplaneskyward]

Shang Beida stirs eventually, curling in closer to Casper’s chest with a little sigh before he actually comes to full consciousness. “…Baobei?” That’s definitely Casper he’s leaning against, his spiritual energy distinctively cool and dark and oddly distant. “…there’s blood on your shirt.” His voice is a tiny bit slurred, and he’s covered in sweat from the breaking of a fever.

[helborn]

"I'm here." And yes, there is, but he can deal with that later. He wipes the other's forehead with his sleeve and then presses his own forehead to Shang Beida's. "We can wash it later, I'm... I'm more concerned about you. How are you feeling?"

[airplaneskyward]

“Mm. Don’t feel… very much… oh. I… had a qi deviation? It’ll be… suppressed for a little bit so it doesn’t… start again.” He presses his face into Casper’s shoulder. “I…” It’s filtering back in, slowly. “You fell.” Right now that’s just a fact, without the weight of grief and guilt and terror, the bullshit xianxia medicines giving him some time to process so he doesn’t actually become a walking bomb of unbalanced qi.

[helborn]

"I did." He's not going to say why, but it's fine. "Do you want me to take you back to the room? I can get you there so you can rest. You seem like you need some rest."

[airplaneskyward]

“But you… weren’t okay. You should rest too. I… I need to meditate, I have to… sort out my spiritual veins so my cultivation doesn’t get all… fucky. Gotta stay immortal if I have an immortal boyfriend…”

He pauses, blinking, something niggling him about that. “You were dead. You were… I exorcised you and you were dead. I don’t want you to be dead. You’re not allowed.”

Another thought seeps in. “Why isn’t Bob mad at me?”

[helborn]

"... I mean, I... I just don't age anymore." It's kind of different. Even the gods aren't truly immortal in the way one normally thinks of as immortal. Either way... "Yeah. I mean, I'm... I've been dead since before you meet me, schatzi." This really isn't the time for this conversation, but... the point is important. "I'd like to not be dead either, but I'm kind of in a difficult spot."

Oh look, a distraction. "... Why would he be?" Bob chatters for a few moments and Casper huffs. "He says he thinks you're an idiot, but he thinks everyone's an idiot including me. He doesn't hate you. He was worried about you."

[airplaneskyward]

"You... it's different if you're dead and here than if you're... gone. You could be the Ghost King, I don't care, I'd keep your ashes so safe..." He's lost the plot a little bit. "You're here. You have to stay. Please. You can... you can be a ghost, I like you being solid, but anything as long as it's you..."

"Because I... exorcised you out of you? You fell. You were... it was just your body. And Bob is... protective of you and... that's... I did bad? To... you shouldn't be taken out of your body. It's yours. Even if you're technically possessing it it's still... that's yours. So he should... be mad because I did a bad thing to you. Right?" Doesn't that make sense?

[helborn]

"I know. Just rest, okay?" He's definitely lost the plot and Casper's still settling back in - he can barely feel his fingertips - but he has to be the one in control right now.

"I mean... you didn't do it on purpose." He's presuming, at least. "He's not stupid and he's not unreasonable, you know. He can see your intentions as clearly as I can." Maybe even more. He's aware he lacks perspective sometimes. "... You were scared and confused. Don't you think I'd be worried about you? Why do you think he wouldn't be?"

[airplaneskyward]

"Just stay with me." Shang Beida's arms tighten around Casper. "I'm sorry I... I'm making you worry over me. And it's-- you're the one who was... possessed and exorcised, you shouldn't... I'm fine, baobei, don't worry about me." He'll be fine, anyway, thanks to the power of knowing exactly where all the bullshit stupid rare OP plants were so he could collect them into a little hoard of emergency medicines for himself.

"But I... did the wrong thing. I hurt you. Why wouldn't he be mad?" He's genuinely confused. "That's what happens when I fuck up, people are mad at me. That's how it works. Why aren't you mad at me either?" This isn't even an emotional response, this is sheer baffled pattern recognition.

[helborn]

"You're not fine." He presses a soft kiss to his boyfriend's temple, the elevator long forgotten. "You were pretty out of it."

He shakes his head and nudges the other. "You're allowed to make mistakes, you know. You're not perfect. No one is." It's something he knows, just... something that's hard to put into practice. "It's okay. I'm... hard to get rid of." Even if his body was destroyed he... could probably possess something else? He's not sure how that works. "It all worked out, didn't it?" They both messed up and they're both okay.

[airplaneskyward]

Shang Beida tilts his head into the kiss with a sigh. "I'll be fine. I'm... I've had lots of qi deviations. But I've got... all the bullshit stupid flowers I made up for things. Cause I knew where they were. So I can... cure them. So it's fine." Also, he does actually let Mu Qingfang look over his spiritual veins afterwards, unlike some shixiongs he could name (the original goods thereof, anyway). He's pretty good at not having any lasting damage! (If he wasn't good at managing it, his cultivation would be completely crippled by now, with how stressful his life is!)

"I don't... understand. I mean, obviously I'm not perfect, I very know I'm not perfect, but... I'm not supposed to fuck things up. That's not what I'm for."

[helborn]

"What do you think you're for, then? If not to just live the best you can?" He gathers the other into his arms and tries to stand up with him. The floor isn't a good place for this conversation. "Maybe in your story Shang Qinghua wasn't supposed to mess anything up but... you're you. You're not a character, you're a person. And people are - should be - allowed to fail sometimes."

If he can just take one step in front of the other back towards their room... "If you're not perfect then you can fuck things up. That's kind of the definition of being 'not perfect'."

[airplaneskyward]

"I-- I'm my king's spy, so I have to find him information, and I'm his servant, I have to... make sure everything goes right for him... and I have to make sure Cang Qiong runs right and everyone gets their... food and repairs and laundry... and I have to make sure the plot happens or the System will kill me..." No, none of those things apply on the boat, and no, that is not occurring to him right now.

Casper is carrying him. Casper is-- he just killed him, and he's definitely struggling to walk. "Baobei, put me down, I can, I can walk, you don't need to carry me, you're still not, you're wobbly--"

[helborn]

"Yeah but that's not you. That's someone else. You're just... I mean it's you, but it's not all of who you are. And you don't have to do that here." Maybe food and repairs and laundry but other than that... nah.

He wavers a little and leans against the wall for a moment. "Sorry, I... I just... you seemed so weak and I... I need to protect you. I want to protect you." He's right, he can't really walk well right now but... but he's got to get them back and... "I want... I want you to be able to be... okay..." He blinks away tears for a moment and takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry, I'm just... I just want to help..."

[airplaneskyward]

"I... oh. Yeah. It's not... my book anymore. I don't know... what I do." Who even is he, without that?

"I can, we can, lean on each other? I don't want you to, to hurt yourself trying to help me, baobei..." He leans up and kisses his cheek softly. "I want you to be okay too... that's... why I qi deviated I think? Because I... made you not okay. I... we can lean on each other back to the room and... lie down together?" Because Casper still somehow wants him around, and he's too selfish not to take advantage of it.

[helborn]

"You be you. That's what you do."

He slowly lowers his boyfriend to the ground so he can stand up and loops an arm around the other's shoulder. "Okay. ... Okay. You're... you're okay." He presses a kiss to Shang Beida's cheek in return and starts taking a few wobbly steps. It's harder when he's leaning on someone but... but he'll manage. His false leg feels far too heavy right now and it's sending him off-balance.

[airplaneskyward]

"I don't know... how. Shang Qinghua had... instructions. Shang Beida doesn't."

Shang Beida wraps his arm tightly around Casper in turn, and feels... relatively stable. He's still a little shaky in the aftermath of the fever breaking, and his mental faculties are... questionable, but he can mostly walk in a straight line, carefully matching his pace to his boyfriend's. "I'm okay. You're okay? We're okay? I... I love you."